Lately
I find myself slowly circling around that which has been repeatedly placed on my heart as a place to speak life over, into, and through. Over the years, I have oscillated between constantly turning inward and then falling into the pull to entirely give myself over to the vulnerability and transparency of sharing the depths of my own motherhood journey. Nothing has grown me, expanded me, humbled me, softened me, and strengthened me the way this journey through motherhood has. It has been beautiful, and it has been brutal. To bring the fullness of myself and my words, I have to bring the fullness of my experience, which comes with a significant cost. That is motherhood; it has cost me the most and yet has given me back more than I could have ever imagined or asked for.
The Invitation
Much like the grief that I have spoken about before, motherhood as a whole has given me the invitation of deconstruction. I have had to deconstruct internal systems, fears, patterns, anxieties, coping styles, communication crutches, codependency, people-pleasing habits, and so much more. We bring so much with us into motherhood, and if you are raising children with a spouse, then that is double as much to work through. These are the parts of motherhood that I never felt was spoken about enough. I knew it was going to be hard, but no one said in what way. No one said that the beauty of motherhood would be what transforms me into the woman I have always envisioned for myself, either. It is all part of the sacred, evolutionary journey marked with an abundance of grace.
And even in the grace, I am longing more for the rawness of life, the rawness of motherhood. To give it, to share it, to be it.
You Are Welcome Here
So if you are here reading along, welcome to this gray and blurry journey of motherhood. You are welcome here no matter what your journey looks like, no matter what this season has given you or taken from you. You are co-creating and cultivating life, no matter how motherhood was gifted to you.
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