Truth scares
The closer we get to the light
The more the shadow feels like comfort
Sinking in lies not to feel the truth

Ask a man what makes him tremble in his soul
You may find it’s not the terror one at first portrays
But yet, that soft dawn light
Which comes into the darkness of a man’s world
Bringing redemption but exposing truth
It is being known in which man fears most

However gentle and soft the light may be
However quietly it approaches a man's heart

To see oneself in a light
Another light
From another world

Perhaps there is nothing more terrifying
To know one's own depth
And not be able to bear one's own darkness

Lillie DuncanComment

We are gardens, through and through.
Raised with the river of Eden in our blood.

Touched by the line of Adam, living through the grace of Eve. Pushed out into a world we had not known. Her words, she gave to us, merely whispers and echoes of worlds to come, with or without us. Her strength she covered us in as her story became ashes, living in you, living through us.

We are Women, we say to this world.
You are just a woman, the world says to us.

This world, full of its ideals, full of its projection, full or its assumptions of how to walk as the Women we were made to be. We have known many women, all within this lifetime, all within our beings. Some we carry along, some we let have their rightful death, some that have yet to come…

Yet wait, dormant beneath the surface ready to emerge.

This relationship, the one of you to the world, the you that is hidden within, it is just an extension, perhaps a mirror of what you already know of yourself.

It is the unraveling of the tapestry. The words of rejection. The string of entanglement. The feelings of praise. The comfort of a hand you know. The weight of endless possibilities held along horizons we have yet discovered that will bring about strength and the future women within us, each with their own calling, each with their own death.

It is the necessary dying that births us and lays us to rest,
all at the hands of perseverance.
The only road leading back to the garden we were meant for…

The garden within you and I.

Lillie DuncanComment

Light of dawn, last breath of autumn
Slipping in quietly behind my person
This day, almost like another

A raven sat perched at my window
Whispering silence as her only offering
Ushering in a premonition, now only a memory

Across her body, out from the ledge
A fading season tells of winters looming return
Along the groves of life once known

Time beneath one wing
Silence beneath the other
Has there ever been anything as honest?

Everyday casualties within narratives we tell our self
It’s growth, her presence beckoned
The only way out of change

Today almost like another, I feel her still
Lingering like the gradient descend of a setting sky
She left with the turn of a season

Making her way across a barren land
Collecting what is rightfully hers
A mercy clothed in black.

Lillie DuncanComment
Already, but Not Yet

One day
You will find yourself
Deep within the valley of waiting

Where the dew upon the grass
Becomes drenched with tears of a weeping widow
Where the echo within the mountains
Fill themselves with the cry of a childless mother
Where the wind whispers your doubts
Into belief

Where the trees are rooted upon
The mourning of those who wait

In long suffering
You will wait too

Until kairos light appears
Illuminating the mighty river of life

There you will stand
Still beneath the shadow of your darkest day
With your hands scarred from grasping
Empty from striving
With your eyes cast down
and your heart so tightly bound

To a world that is not yours to belong

You must surrender
As if there was really any other choice
But this one
Release into this one moment
The already, but not yet
Let the river of truth
Wash over you like a mighty flood
And all that you held,
No longer will falsely hold you

Already, but not yet
Joy is coming

Holdfast beloved
Joy is coming

Cast your eyes ahead
Joy is coming


                                       Joy Is Coming

Lillie DuncanComment
I am the fire

I am the love that I give
I am the words that don’t come free
I am the passion that I desire
I am the value that has not been seen
I am the time that's passing away
I am the respect that I deserve
I am the trust that I surrender
I am the voice of a legion
I am the tenderness of a fleeting moment
I am the space that I seek
I am the art that I make
I am the reflection of many moons
I am the silence that covers the night
I am the beauty that rises with the sun
I am the mirror to your soul
I am the thought that lingers
I am the wholeness that comes from within
I am the lesson that I had to learn
I am the fire that continues to burn

Lillie DuncanComment
Desert Moon

The path is long, the path is wide
Translucent sight in full abide
I see all of the women I used to be
And in a moment, they collide with all of the women yet to be

Lucid lover, I feel you waning ever before me
Like a desert moon, it's all I can see

Your light, your dark, they draw me from afar
Settling in, like the rise of a war

There is a new phase besetting upon me
From what I have been to what I will be

Perhaps I'm becoming the darkness of dusk wound in the light of dawn
Love feels much like an empty plea
Yet, like the muse of a fawn
This desert moon still summons me




Lillie DuncanComment

Does that which exists within me
Exist outside of me
Is it whole
Or does it only come in parts

Is it a projection
Or merely a reflection of a mark set upon me 

Is growth the pinnacle
Or is it the beginning of all that is never ending 

Is there a space where it all collides
The place that beckons me from a far
Where all of the parts finally become whole

Lillie DuncanComment
My Kin

There is a light within that has been dimmed
Listen close
Can you hear my chest rise and fall in cadence with what's to come
Connecting me to the earth beneath

Your body below
Facing the east

Mine afloat this lofty surface
Watching the West

Do you see the light coming
All I see is darkness descending

The rain masks it's journey down
It's bleakness blending with the warm vehemence of my own

Each drop
Bringing down
Releasing my restless ache

Wash away these perpetual thoughts that leave me captive

Is it light you see
I see the darkness unfold

For a moment my body is a part of this consecration
We are really not that different
Even through the dusty space and piercing silence 



*In loving memory of my brother, Nathaniel Benjamin. 

Lillie DuncanComment

There I waded out while I waited
And in the distance, atop a wave
I thought I saw all my love returning to me

There I waited while I waded
And in that moment, submerged beneath a billowing swell
I realized some things are never returned

I followed the current
I followed the sea
Wading while I wait for thee
In the end
What I found was me.

Lillie DuncanComment
Somewhere in Between

With the moon on rise
I feel the pull, just the same
This ocean that beckons me
Balancing on the edge of a dream and reality

Lines that run, lines that divide from side to side
Yet from where I stand
I still can’t see where the ocean ends and the sky descends, I’m drawn in

Sinking beneath this untouched language of the sea
Waves rise up with power, white capping all my love
I’m caught between this dance of nature and my heart

Been searching this shifting tide for anything to hold on to
For a way to keep this sun from setting

Yet night ascends, sweeping in like a thief
Golden rays diminishing beneath the sea, reflecting in my eyes
Whispers in the wind, shadows at dusk, my tenderness muffled in between

Oh, this ocean that beckons me
Just a few words left to fall from my salty lips
I’d sail your endless waters if only you’d let me

Lillie DuncanComment
The Edge

Movement rumbles through the sand
The wind begins to retract
It is slight, seemingly unnoticeable
Felt it before my eyes took sight

I see you fading

Birds overheard singing their last melody as day dissolves
And night breaks through
The motion of the tide pulling back in silence

If you are leaving, leave me in truth
Denial unravels me from the inside out

If you are parting, come to the sea
Call it what it is, even if that’s all you can give

If this is what you want, leave me with a peace
Beneath this sacred space, I have been undone

Was I an ocean to behold or just a shallow to pass by?

Lillie DuncanComment
A Blue Revolution

Illuminance of the sky,
that breaks darkness from overtaking the good in this world,

Illuminate in Me.

Take out my heart and measure it to yours.
I’d become righteous in you
but no more righteous than another, just because I see it.

I need not look much further then in me
to see the glory of a king’s hand, a value no jester can make a fool of.

As sure as the moon echos the sun,
I to you, for a world awaiting revolution

Elucidate in me
So that I may guide a distilled audience to the hope of love and not of war.

All things working towards the good of a maker, above and below.

Lillie DuncanComment

My eyes, they burn a light reflecting precisions and finalize
They have been submersed so much, held so tightly to measuring heights
When I say I am free, you know it’s coming down like rays
Freedom has taken manifestation inside the lids of my shelter,
No closed eyes can hide you from this detonation

My poor pelt has been stifled and saturated
I came up for the greatest inhaling of all life could offer,
No dust, no pollen could fill these lungs,
No false realties, no confining lies can hide you from this ignition

And that which melts off you is much greater than I had thought
Holding the purest of reflections, the sun shines through your glass eyes

My lungs, they are filled with the greatest of breathes
The taste of appeal follows down every inch of liberating air
I’d breathe you in again
No plastic trees can still the life in that lets me just exist,
Nor will it ever steal the purest of air I breathe.

Alleluia, I am alive, I am alive, and I am alive.

Lillie DuncanComment
Suns of the Son

The motion of the sea reflects the power and lack of forgiveness that the sky reveals to us
Incapacitating beholders, whether it is known or not
The sudden realization that we are made of the same in that which we lay on
That all the suns we see, hold the same atoms, marked no differently from our own
Shining bright for thirsty hearts to see
To think this would bring one back to humanity and what we have left would be a natural assumption
Except we define being human as what is best for ourselves, defined as power, money, and murder
Not the same rays of light casting down on us, it is what we have created out of it, when all we see is too much for hurting hearts to bare

So … Give me Christ; so that He may pour out His own, 
over and over and over
Only to be empty of myself when twilight comes
Give me the sea, the mountains, the rivers, the valleys of life
Only to be humble in my hide in comparison to His greatness
Give me Abba love, day in, day out, to fill me because no one else will or can
Only to prove the glory the Son beholds for us all

Lillie DuncanComment

Formulas written across your skin, every time I sit to peel you back
I delineate more of the numbers that create your bones
It’s not fair to bind you to basic calculation, but that is what it will always come down to

I discern more than you think I’d do
I have a mind that dissects and intertwines,
Regardless, there is a crater in my skull that stays sealed for the protection of your formulas
I let you hold the black anonymity, I no longer need that from this lifewe all have our numbers; we all fall into our selves

I, too, would like to live above the things that produce the crop in my life
the things that you believe in, they keep you alive and create your borders

Lillie DuncanComment

Our bodies are just dust
our hearts are but Yours

So come
Come for I call on You

What a broken place I reside in
Full of words and memories that
only time can own
...for now

For every letter protruding out is like
the breeching of my insides 

You, Time, Dust
all front forth
here now
claiming what is yours

Well, what if I told you I used your breath of glory to whiten my own eyes
for I could not see

What if I told you I used your minutes to relearn how to circulate
for I could not breathe

What if I told you I would rather be covered in His dust then my own
for I can not be

Would you come back now
to save a derelict soul 

Take the place of time
can you take it back
And sew what’s been reaped

For following minds
I have no mystery to offer you
just this plead
bare as my heart
waiting for the truth to be revealed
exposing all the layers
entrenched in the shelter of my bones
For how long must I wait? 
Didn’t I hear your whispers
Didn’t I respond
Transcending fears
Embedded lies

So come
Come for I call on You
Build me a new

Lillie DuncanComment
Beautiful Resurrection

I follow intently, 
asphyxiate in place of your dust, 
[letting it settle like silt] 
in the vacuous cavities
where I bled out the devil.
Let me breathe more like you.

Trade the lining of my eyes for your glossy retreat, 
to see good in all,
to be at peace,
to shine more, 
to love more, 
to be encompassed with joy while blood washes our feet.
We are all just dying at the hands of men. 

Conform these muscles to flow beyond where others bind them.
With your freedom, I am constantly anew. 
[Constantly becoming who I have been made to be.]
Take the bewildered dishonesties that I laid back out for you.
[Fervidly seeking you.]

Exchange this reflection
in to one that emulates more of you
and less of these humanly selfish desires.
Probe within, letting nothing harden, 
all for your glory.

Bring your Kingdom down;
These bright eyes set afire.

Oh Lord, bring your Kingdom on down in me.

Lillie DuncanComment
Dear Swallows

You marked yourself as a sailor
One for freedom from your land, one for fidelity to yourself

Travel another 50,000 waves and I'll see you in the bends
The reflections of the sea hold the shade of my eyes and the depth of what I see

Once you cross the great line, what great things are you going to ride over?
Fixations that hold you back from what makes your heart burn deep

I’d like to burn deep enough to stop you in your tracks, to capture what is not so translucent in your bones

I can see the shine
I can see your shine

All the fractures that create you, construct luminosity for hungry eyes to see

I can see the shine
I can see your shine

Lillie DuncanComment
Fire Out

I have a mouth full of leaves and a stomach full of lies
I feed them to you
It can not just be enough to change minds if there is no action
where is your action
digesting the reality of it all, we really can do things
we say its true, but you never really believe it

bones to skin
vessel to air

we are creations that carry this weight
created in a perfect image
forgetting what it looks like, and how to get back
it can not just be enough to change thoughts if there is no belief

where is your belief

good thing our Good One came about
were they words that are just held tightly bound
or were they actions spelled out to show a way
back to the core of who we are becoming and where we are going
because it is not where you think you are going
just yet

fire in fire out

Lillie DuncanComment

I have no words to spill out and about
No clue to you how my joints squeeze together
Just this breath that comes in at dawn and releases at dusk
Perhaps the land in which I walk now looks a little covered with orange and yellow to caution me from being where I have been before
But this is where I am
And this is who I am
Merely a tree whose limbs stretch and reach
Whose roots expand and grow
Whose knots show of age and growth
And leaves that come and go
When golden dusk turns my shadow gold, I shall be thankful for the heart inside of me.

Lillie DuncanComment