Words for the Soul: Nikita Gill

Lillie Duncan

“Pick the song you identify most with right now. Turn it on. Make it loud.” She says to me as I reach for my phone. The lyrics already on repeat in my head…

I walk over and stand in my stillness. Letting her hear my heart from the mouth of another.

When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be

I'm watching movies back to back in black and white,
I never seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether

You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes.


Embracing the side that not many get to see, honoring the depths I typically keep at bay. She looks over at me with the lens in one hand and glass in the other and pauses. I asked her what she was doing.
She said, “Making you a ghost, Lillie.”

I whispered back gently with a world of emotion within, “I already am.”

The ghosts of all the women you used to be are all so proud of who you have become,
storm child made of wild and flame.
— Nikita Gill
Lillie DuncanComment